Fork in the road.
Ok, I’m seriously considering withdrawing from school. It has become too stressful. I’m behind on all but two classes, and I’m at my wit’s end. Add on the fact that I’m still dealing with a lot of personal shit, it has become too much. I’m not getting MIPS programming and I’m not getting most of the math. I’ve never used Assembly and now were suppose to write code for it, without an introduction; I don’t even know where to begin. Then there is the math, which I can almost get, but usually I’m missing one piece of the picture. And I’m not able to concentrate in class, because all I can think about is about the shit I’m going through. God knows I tired to pay attention, but that last only for a couple minutes; it seems the harder I try not to think about the stuff that I’m feeling the more I think about it.
And now I’m enrolled in a quick study course, which condenses a whole semester in like 8 days; which is worrying me.
The only reason I haven’t stopped going to college is because of another fear I have; I fear failure. I feel that whatever I do, I will fail. I really don’t think I have any useful skills; just the basic skills everybody else has and I’m not even good at those.
I guess the coming week or so will determine if I stay in school or quit.
posted by Brian Smith @ 11:07 AM
2 Comments:
wait. wait. wait. don't make a quick decision just because you are stressed and behind. You are going through a lot right now but don't make a quick decision that will affect the rest of your life just because things are tough. You may have taken on too much and need to cut back or you are taking a direction that your not ready for, but don't quite just because it is hard.
If you need to talk to someone for advice send me and e-mail or im me.
kb27@yahoo.com
I might have to drop computer systems, that's the class i'm beyond behind on, i've actually been trying to catch up on other classes in that class. And i'm still have no idea how to create anything using MIPS in SPIM. I have a little example code, but it couldn't be more confusing; and the book assumes that you've taken assembler, but the course description says you only needed basic Unix and C. Eh, that class sucks, it's not only a theory based computer class but it's also a remote learning class; so no in room teacher and we have to guess what is on the screen half the time. But that is looking like a definite drop, depends on the test we suppose to be getting back.
and the whole ...it seems the harder I try not to think about the stuff that I’m feeling the more I think about it. sometimes is laughable. I'll be sitting in the class room and thinking about something other then the class; then i make myself pay attention, but a few minutes later, without realizing it, I’m back to thinking about that other thing again.
and i'm not going to make a rash decision, i'll have to weight the pro's and con's, but i'm defiantly going to have to take the summer off, or just take one or two classes that i think i would enjoy. but for now i'll try my best to catch up.
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