The Second Introduction

Before I introduce my self I must tell you why I didn't in my first post. That first post was a spur of the moment thing, but all day all I could think of was how good it felt to get a lil of the burden off my chest, and almost be a once in awhile thing. But it feels too good sharing with other people. Well now lets start the introduction.

First off I'm a newly gay male.Yes I said newly. eventough I've been gay all my life I just recently ,in the last 1 or 2 years, accepted it. Though I accepted it I know that others will not. So I'm am still in the closet until I'm not dependent on anyone who will judge me. I've never been with a person, hell I've never even dated. I've never dated because I am in the closet and I never considered dating a woman, eventhough I know that other gays have, because I knew that it would never work out no matter how hard I tried. But I'm getting ahead of myself. Lets start further back. I was born in Oklahoma in a little town that no one cares about, went to and even smaller school. There I was mostly bored and unhappy. I grew up with people that through around not only Nigger but Fag a lot, I was offended by both(eventhough I'm not black) the frequency and the acceptance of these "words". So I guess that's when I built the closet that I would and still today spend my life. Grade school and High School made me fell like shit, I thought of myself as a worth less perversion of nature. When I finally graduated High school, I started collage. This was a much better environment for me, I was no longer in the back woods of Oklahoma when I attended. I even wanted to live on campus, but I didn't have the money, so ever day I drove back to my parents house; back into the place I came to hate.

Ok that was me, and now? Well I'm still living with my parents until I finish collage. I'm still in the closet, but trying to bust that bitch open. I'm trying to love me for me and the internet is really helping. I also trying to find my place in the world, I'm only 22 and I know that there is plenty to do. I constantly worry about finding a job and living in the real world.

Here is some misc stuff about me I couldn't fit into any one categories. I like heavy music and some rock, like Marilyn Manson, Nine Inch Nails, KoRn, Slipkot and other bands like that and also some bands totally different from them. I also like my men beefy, I love bears. For some reason I love quotes, I cant help it, I guess its an addiction. My English teacher made the class use a quote in one of our assignments, and since then I've been hooked. Well I guess its a healthy obsession. I don't smoke (but it doesn't bother me), do drink occasionally, but not to excess. And when I'm finally out of that damned, dark, lonely closet I'm looking for someone who's looking for a monogamous relationship. I'm an agnostic, mass religion kinda scares me (I've had bad experiences [They Kicked someone out because he looked different]), but if I meet the right man and the right church I'll give it a chance.

Well I guess that's me.. Unless you have any questions(if anyone will ever see this). So here I go.. Quote Time...

A journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step.
                                                                      -Anonymous