I found some old pictures of me!!!

First Picture:

Jesus! Where to begin? First that outfit they put me in... i mean come'on! Someone should have been shot. Next, Where the fuck am i in the picture, and who the fuck is kidnapping me? I think that might be Bristow... but there is some oddities. The bike is throwing me off. I've never known my parents riding a bike at home, but bring one all the way into the city limits of Bristow? That cannot be there bike, unless it's brand-fucking-new, and it doesn’t look like it is. And if it is there bike, where the fuck did it go?

And what the fuck was up in 1982 [when the pic was taken]? God! They are all walking fashion disasters. Look at the person in the blue shirt leaning on the pole... honey, do something with those saggy ass tits or that beer belly if you're going to wear that type of shrit. I'm not even going to comment on that short sleeve picnic blanket that one woman is wearing.

Second Picture:

This one is downright embarrassing. I'm not even going to rotate the picture to make it look better... WTF?! HAHAHAHAHA... I'm so ghetto in that picture; and i'm cheesing it up. There is too many things wrong with me, but the ones that stand out... the cross and the jeans. I think i might have been repelling evil and common sense... and i'll let you figure out which fashion mistake was doing what.