Hay Girlfriends! What's Up?
I'm a lil tipsy.
I'm a lil tipsy
short and stout
Here is a Malibu
knock a bitch out
When i get all riled up
Hear me shout
tip me over and
Puke comes out...
Hahahaha J/K. I'm not that drunk, nor will i ever be. I'm still in the "i'm not going out an doing naked jump-n-jacks in the street" stages. But if i get to that plateau, do you want me to tape it and put it on the internet? Hahahahaha, i don't think i'll ever be that drunk... unless the right guy comes along with enough Malibu and Midori... Then we'll see.
Anyway,
Me and My Bottle of DeKuyper's Melon Liquor. Should have been Midori though... But Midori was $20 a bottle and all i had was one $20 bill on me, so i opted for the DeKuyper's version which was only like $12 and got the smallest bottle of Malibu they had. The Drink I'm Drinking is an Alien Secretion (except i used more then 1/3 of pineapple juice). Delicious.
Me Giving My Bottle of Malibu Some Attitude For Being Such A Small Bottle.
Me and My Shitty Bottàro's Red Table Wine Which i bought only because of the cool bottle. And if you notice, i'm not even attempting to trick you into believeing that i'm drinking that shit.
A Different View of that Shitty Wine. And it dosn't look like it, but yes, i've drank some of it, so i know it's shitty. I'm just holding it upsidedown so you can see that it sorta gives you the impression that it spirals at the spout.
But my favorite part of the bottle is that it kinda looks like what a club from the Lord of the Rings i imagine would look like.
Also if you read the image names; yes, i'm listening to Eartha Kitt while drinking (should be drinking champage though) and wearing a Slipknot shirt.
I've posed for pictures with Ivory Soap,
I've petted stray dogs, and shied clear of dope
My smile is brilliant, my glance is tender
But I'm noted most for my unspoiled gender
I've been made Miss Reingold, though I never touch beer,
And I'm the person to whom they say, "You're sweet, My Dear."
The only etchings I've seen have been behind glass,
And the closest I've been to a bar, is at ballet class.
Prim and proper, the girl who's never been kissed,
I'm tired of being pure and not chased.
Like something that seeks it's level
I wanna go to the devil.
I wanna be evil, I wanna spit tacks
I wanna be evil, and cheat at jacks
I wanna be wicked, I wanna tell lies
I wanna be mean, and throw mud pies
I want to wake up in the morning
with that dark brown taste
I want to see some dissipation in my face
I wanna be evil, I wanna be mad
But more that that I wanna be bad
I wanna be evil, and trump an ace,
Just to see my partner's face.
I wanna be nasty, I wanna be cruel
I wanna be daring, I wanna shoot pool
And in the theatre
I want to change my seat
Just so I can step on
Everybody's feet
I wanna be evil, I wanna hurt flies
I wanna sing songs like the guy who cries
I wanna be horrid, I wanna drink booze
And whatever I've got I'm eager to lose
I wanna be evil, little evil me
Just as mean and evil as I can be
~ Eartha Kitt - I Want To Be Evil
posted by Brian Smith @ 2:34 AM
6 Comments:
Don't get too excited, its just me.
Speaking of evil shit, my infusion nurse told me that she really wasn't into torture. This was after she blew one,two,three,FOUR of my veins and stabbed me eight other occasions in which she failed to hit a vein at all. After the last attempt she gave up, (i am sure she was saying to herself "Fuck it, I'm outta here") and told me she would send someone else over tomorrow. I was supposed to have two booster infusions back to back, but I guess it wont hurt to skip a day. Apparently, I couldn't be a junkie if i wanted to be...
You are always singing, how about some King Missle? That one always cracks me up.
See ya
I'm always excited when getting comments! I save each and every one of them! No, really i do; they're all in a folder at my Yarhoo email address. Any comment, email or any sort of thing that relates to my blog and is emailed to me (BTW, all comments are automatically emailed to me) are put in there. Right about now, i have 950 messages in my BloggggMail folder. And i haven't put in about 5 or 6 of them from my inbox in there, yet.
Ha, the technical school i was going to while i was in HS, had a nursing program... now i don't trust nurses, because if that one woman was the teacher, god help us... unless they are gay; because i hear gay peoples are natural nurses. Not me though, i'd probably get good at putting the needle in, but i'd forget to put anything in the needle and not wanting to look like a fool, i'd say "You're all done here" knowing good and well they'd be looking away the whole time.
I couldn't be a junkie. because the fact is, i hate needles, if i'm the one that has to inject. I'm ok if someone else does it, but they'd have to be qualified... and i don't know many gay nurses that would be willing to inject me with whatever... plus, i don't even know how to buy the shit to inject. Is there like a mail order catalog?
King Missle... I'm going to have to check that out.
Thank god, she finally got the damn needle in today!! Whew, cause they were begining to talk about putting a permenant cath in. I don't want that shit till I have to have it. Lol, yeah I look away too, cause if i don't it makes my stomach queasy, so she could put whatever she wanted (or nothing at all) in there, and I would never know. No, no catalog, you can get the injectables from your friendly corner drug 'pharmacist' right down the street, or they even make house visits. (I lived next to a crackhead in Topeka for awhile, and he broke into my place and stole my vaccum because thats all I had to steal) What an asshole he was.
There was a King Missle song which was hugely popular on the alternative stations 8,9,or maybe even 10 years ago called 'Detachable Penis', it is a major crack-up. It begins...I woke up this morning with a bad hangover, and my penis was missing again. This happens all of the time, it's detachable.
Whats the deal with the Entry blog? You will have to explain, because I am largly computer stupid.
Ok, later g.
Uhhh... i guess congrats, that your nurse isn't a utter failure. :-p
I use to look away, but the last few times i watched. i still hold my breath though, and play a lil song in my head. But i could never do it to myself, never. i don't care let me die, i'd say before stabbing myself with a needle. Even the thought of it gives me the creeps. I also would have a hard time giving someone else a shot. I hate just trimming my ferrets nails (there is a vein in there). But i know if i did, give someone a shot, i would forget something. I always forget something. I can't make it out the door without remembering something i forgot; usually something non-important like a movie that is due or something of that nature.
Eh! No catalog! Well, then, i'll just have to revolutionize the drug trafficking industry by creating my own crack empire that uses catalogs to push it's product. i'll call it the J.C. Dimebags catalog. And we'll have crack whores modeling the wares; and buy $100 worth of crack cocaine get one dime bag of weed and free shipping! We’d also say “Mention this ad and get an additional 5% off! Visa and Master Card not Accepted, because your credit is probably crap.”
I'd be raking in the dough.
I don't do drugs, mainly because knowing my luck, i'd die. I've always wondered about the LSDs though. If any drug that would be it. I want to see the colors everyone keeps talking about. See i wouldn't enjoy it like other people, mine would be more scientific; i'd just like to experience the feeling or Hallucinations and write them down; catalog them. I also would like to see how 'real' they can seem (the hallucinations).
Ok the Entry thing... I made this JavaScript Function once back in the day. It's primary function is to 'encrypt' an entry so that only people that you want can read it, via a password you distribute. The reason you would want to do such a thing is because the content is so gawd awful that you're ashamed of it's existence. This one is such a post. It's hidden from the world, but also a marker in time that i myself can remember. But if anyone wants the Password email me at TheManThatUFearOSU@Yahoo.com and tell me your handle... or just wait 12...err 11 days... Because that is the day it will be reveled (well not the mean shit). Unless you email asking for the Password that is... and only people that commented in the past get this privilege; so the rest of you have to wait!
I would love to tell you now in unencrypted text, really i would, but i'm going to have to wait. The story it tells is still in development; and this story shouldn't be posted half-assed; plus there is a microscopically small chance that the story isn’t as bad as it seems; so I’d like to cover my ass. Lets just put it this way, it’s just more drama that I don’t need.
Hey, secret squirrel, whazz up.
One more thing about drugs then I will drop it for awhile. Just Say No!! ROF, no seriously, gotta lay offa the LSD man, kinda makes your offspring funny looking ya know. The reason it makes you hallucinate is because it makes the brain bleed, and for that reason alone I never tried it, that whole concept just makes me squemish. Also, if you have even a tad of a tendency or genetics which predispose you to schitzephrenia, ya I know I am sure i didnt spell it right, it could send you over the edge. It did my second cousin, and he has been in the pen ever since. Not because he was schitzo, but because it made him try to kill people. If you are lucky all it will do is make you look like a giant dumb-ass whilst you are wearing a lamp shade on your head and holding philosophical conversations with the wall.
If you try anything, go for the shit which won't make you mutate...hehe, cough cough
Nuttin’ much, just back home. I spent the night with my lil sister and her BF; and we gots ourselves a big bottle of Malibu; and some long island ice tea pre-mixed drink, also some Courvoisier.
---
Yea, i heard that it makes you go, well, "far out".
I'm just wondering how realistic are the spiders or whatever. Maybe i should just drop my ass in the middle of the desert without water and have someone come to pick me up in a few days.
But i'm not the drug doing type, i don't think. Because i don't trust people who would be selling me it. God only knows where that has been. Probably in a Pringles can they once used as a porta-potty (a joke my sister and I always say to people when they ask, "can you hold it?"; "What do you want me to do? Shit in a Pringles can?")
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