Read This? Yeeey! 60 Bonus Points! High Five!

OMG Girls! I spent the night at my lil sister's BF's House, and let me tell you, my lil sister is special. Special Ed.

Ok, I stopped in at the GLBT Center for a min or two; to check my EZ-Mail and stuff; While my sister when to her BF's House. Well i arrived at his house around 6:30. Not even 10mins had lapsed and someone knocked on the door.

His Neighborhood, one word: GHETTO. More words? Ok, Illegal Mexican Aliens --Who Don't Speak A Lick of English-- Ghetto. Yea. They're moving, thank god. But anyways, there is knock. My sister looks out the winder and tells me she doesn’t know the person out there; but she opens the door anyways. I about died when she did that.

There was a girl out there, she was somewhere in-between 18 and 25 in age. She was on crack. She talked Ninety-to-nothing and was way chipper. C-R-A-C-K H-O! She was talking to my sister, i didn't pick up on much of what she was saying, since she was at the door and i was sitting down. All i heard is that she was needing to meet and talk to people to get "Points" for a trip to Cancun; then i heard her ask my lil sister "Are you non-violent? I need to meet someone non-violent for points!" My sister lied and said she wasn't violent. She went on and on saying that she needed to talk to her for 5mins for some more points! Then she asked if my lil sister can touch her toes without bending at the knees. She [my sister] did it and the crack ho yelled "Woooo! 30 bonus Points! High Five!" and proceeded to give my lil sister a "High Five"... i thought to myself "High is right!" She was all over the fucking place.

Then she whipped out a piece of paper; asking her to pick out her "favorite four". I had no idea what they were, i thought it was CDs on the paper. After my sister picked out one, the crack ho asked if she could come in.

Now here is where i started to pick up my valuables from her coffee table, because i didn't want the crack hoe to swipe them. I got my IRiver, Digital Camera, and other things off the table. She made herself at home, sat her ass right on down and started writing. She kept asking my lil sister things;

Crack Hoe (CH): What is your name?

Heather (HS): Heather.

CH: What is your last name?

HS: Smith

CH: Oh my god! Really? DO you know a Rick Smith?

HS: No

ME: (Thinking: You're no John Edwards, Bitch!)

CH: What's Your Name? (To Me [=>me])

ME=>CH: Brian

CH=>ME: Oh My God! My Brother's Name Is Brian! High Five! [gets up and high fives me]

CH=>ME: How Old Are You

ME=>CH: 23

CH=>ME: My Bro's 21.

CH=>HS: What do you do for a living?

HS=>CH: Nothing.

CH=>ME: What do you do for a living?

ME=>CH: Student [lied]

CH=>CH: Woooo I get 60 bonus points! High Five! [gets up and high fives me]

CH=>ME: What you going for?

ME=>CH: Computer Science.

CH=>CH: Woooo i get 35 bonus points because you're in technology! High Five! [gets up and high fives me]

CH=>HS: Are you almost done picking out your 4?

HS=>CH: Yea, i'm almost done.

CH=>HS: Wooo.

CH=>ME: Hay, you pick out 4, too. [throws me a piece of paper]

Then i realize that she is selling magazines. I knew she was selling something, but didn't know what. Now i knew.

CH=>HS: Ok, give me your address [said it so fast that my lil sister didn't quite here what she said]

HS=>CH: Huh?

CH=>HS: How are we suppose to send you your fan-mail?

HS=>CH: What mail?

CH=>HS: What? You're not J-Lo?

Me: (Thinking: This Bitch is really cracked out)

My sister actually gives her address...

HS=>CH: ....Bristow....

CH=>HS: Bristow? I've been there, everyone was really nice.

ME: (thinking: Bitch, you haven't been to Bristow! no one has, except bristownians.)

she give out the rest of OUR address; not her BF's BTW. I even played along, and picked me out 4 mags; just to fuck with the bitch.

CH=>US: Ok, now pick out your favorite magazine!

ME=>CH: Look hear, honey, we gots no money. Our mother buys all our shit for us.

CH=>US: Well you could combine you two's money together and buy one. You get two subscriptions for the price of one.

CH=>HS: you do know everything comes in twos? Right?

HS=>CH: No.

CH=>HS: Yeah. Two Eyes. Two Ears. Two Arms. Two Legs. Two Butt Cheeks, because if you only had one butt cheek you'd do everything half assed.

US=>CH: *unamused*

CH=>ALL: (gets the point) Well, i guess i'll be going (chipperness had dissipated). Do you know of anyone around here who would be interested?

Then my sister points her to the homes where the residents don't speak a lick of English. Zilch, not even bad English.

Right as she goes for the door, she trips. She trips on a gun. Hahahahaha. It was a pellet gun, one that will kill lil animals, and may take out an eye, but probably nothing else. It looks real, and she almost freaked. She walked out the door, and as soon as she shut it, i busted up laughing and said, pretty loudly, "bitch does that give you bonus points?". She had to have heard it. The whole day was fun after that, because A) We did have money, quite a bit on hand and B) We took that money and got some Malibu, Long Island Ice Tea Pre-mixed drinks, and a bottle of Courvoisier. Ha! Also after she left i was talking to my sister and she said when she was got that lil notebook out of her bag, she seen a crack pipe. Ha! I was right!

But if i wasn't there, i bet my lil sister would have had very mag she had in that book of hers.

When my lil sis's BF got back he told us that last year they did the same thing, but this time it was a guy and he told him and the guys that were living with them that it was a scam and that there was no trip and no points. They get paid to sell them, and the more they sell the more they make.

One more thing.. is it Crack Ho or Crack Hoe?