Choke That Bitch OUT!
Again... the little motherfucker I car pool with has fuckin’ pissed me off. I’m about to pull-a-Heather, and choke that bitch out. Today it was ‘ewww… homosexuals’ bullshit. I swear, it makes me angry that he’ll say that shit in my face; but it does take a lot of balls… because if I tried I could kill him with my bare hands. He’s a 90 pound nothing that looks like he was rejected from a ‘Nerds’ movie, for being too nerdy [OH GOD, if I wasn’t such a nice guy, I’d post a pic of him. And you though below was bad, Ethan...]. And I was having a pretty good day… but if it ain’t one thing it’s another, Right? But fuck him, he’s a ugly asshole anyways, even I have to admit that I’m a fucking supermodel compared to his ugly ass.
Other then that today was great, I woke up a little pissy, but that was because I woke up and was hurting like a son-of-a-bitch, but after a hour or so, I was feeling a little better. I had my second Plants and People exam today, passed that bitch, and Wednesday I’ll have #3 then the next day it’s the final. I hope I pass the entire class, the first two tests were 76’s; I might need to actually study for real next time. I also got, yesterday, the dual disk version of Nine Inch Nails’ “The Downward Spiral”, U2’s “How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb”, and the DVD version of Tales from the Crypt’s “Demon Knight/Bordello of Blood” double feature [So bye-bye VHS version of Demon Knight]; Best Buy’s return line was hell on earth, good thing I didn’t have to return anything. :)
posted by Brian Smith @ 7:17 PM
5 Comments:
He's Ugly as Sin! Hallelujah! Praise Jesus!
I think that someone should snip him, that's something everyone can get behind. It would unite the world!
But not only is he Ugly... he's a damn dirty liar. And they are not even good lies! He's was telling some BS about being able to throw his voice... Everyone was like BullSHIT! then he 'threw his voice' which must not have went far, because it sounded like it was coming out of his damn mouth! but he claimed that he had some people thinking they his voice was coming from the attic. I just wonder WTF was going threw his head when he was telling that shit? Did he think we wouldn't want a Demo of his 'Talent'? Dumbass. I don't mind if you lie to me, just make it a good one. There is other shit, that he has told, that you probably wouldn’t believe if i told you. Hell, the only reason i believe it, is because i've heard that shit.
FUCK! i'll tell ya' another one, this one is one of the rare believable ones.
When we were in HS, the two guys i carpool with and me was going to take a Collage Day. So we decided to meet at the HS, me and the other guy got there early, so we drove by his house. He was still there, so we turned around and as soon as i passed his driveway we seen him about to leave. So we just kept on going, going back to the HS. Well he pulled out of his Driveway, and we slowed down... real slow... like hovering a little below 5mph. It was a Dirt road so it's almost one lane, so no passing. Somehow, we got to the HS before he did. When he arrived, we asked him what took so long; joking around because we though he knew it was us. He didn't. We where told a fantastic adventure that happened. Not only had the color and model of my car changed, but i was alone... and a gray haired old lady. lol. We was like 'Really?'. 'Yea, i honked and honked and she didn't speed up. I tried to pass her, but she cut me off. Then she flipped me off!' BULL-FUCKING-SHIT! He didn't Honk once, and pass me? Fuck no. and me flipping him off, lol, i think i would remember that one. He's such as shitty liar, he gets caught ever time it is believable, which is rare. (can't help it, he claims that he telekinetic, but of course, he can't do it all the time [you know, when someone is there]) I don't know what is sadder, he is actually serious, or he thinks that we'll buy it.
As for Popping him in his lying mouth, he'd probably cry like a little bitch; Then say that an old gray haired lady, Karate Chopped him in his mouth, after he took on a gang of ninjas. Then he'll use his Jedi Mind Powers.
And he is a Kid... well acts like one. "At least he's not gay.. har har har", him talking about Religion in Music, more specifically Marilyn Manson, See?
Habitual Liar sums him up to a 'T'. You'd think with all that practice, he'd be good at it. I love when he talks about his 'Powers'. They are so outrageously funny, it should be illegal. Get this, he's Magneto from X-men. Seriously, he thinks he can manipulate Magnetic Fields with his mind. He said this out loud mind you! Hell, i thought i was crazy, and the only power i've claimed is my uncanny ability to sleep though anything.
But i hate that too, at least come up with something believable, it makes me think that you think i'm one dumb motherfucker. But it is fun to tease him, by going along; it provides endless humor. But sometimes it's not funny, because i car pool with him; people hear this shit, and i think that they might think that i'm as retarded as him, it's embarrassing.
But the crown Jewel is a claim he made at Central Tech. That there is a Popular Mechanics Magazine that told of a real-life 'Warp Engine'. The only problem was that there wasn't a metal strong enough, and every time they went to test it, it exploded. .. i'll let that sink in....
...
...
Yep...
...
...
He is 'Special'...
...
...
A little Background Info, he's one of those Star Trek groupies, but he claims that he doesn’t dress up; but also says that he would if he had a good Klingon outfit. BTW i hate Star Trek!
So if we only had a strong enough metal, everything would be there so we could zip around space. Maybe he could use his advance Jedi skills to hold that shit together, and go back to his home planet, Krypton; and blast the aliens with his heat vision.
Oh and people knowing famous people... love it... but people around here don't know of any good famous people. My older sister had a friend that claimed that she was a lesbian lover of one of the chicks from Kittie. I wish it was true, because those girls Kick ass, but kittie isn't that famous, i don't think. I'm trying to remember if there was anyone else... not that i can remember, but i've been on the local news 2 or 3 times before when i was a wee fellow in diapers, does that count?
Damn, i keep thinking of Hanson, they're from Tulsa, someone had to have claimed to be related to those guys.
OH! One of my crazy ass relatives claim that we're THE SMITHS! you know John Smith and Pocahontas' love children. God Damn she was one Crazy Bitch! Whew! Dawg!
Lying people are the worst, unless they put some effort into it. It makes me feel special when they have to work at it. It's the motherfuckers that lie, and both you and he knows, and he knows you know, it's a lie, that pisses me off. But i've found that telling the blunt truth, is awesome! It not only pisses the person that you were going to lie to off, but they really can't say shit about it, because you put all that shit in their face. And it makes me laugh, when they're just standing their dumbstruck, because they were expecting either something a little more subtle or a complete lie; because sometimes I’m a bitch like that.
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TREAT and a V8... Well too bad Christmas is over, or i'd have had a perfect gift; not really i probably got him the same thing i did, not a damn thing.
As for what he was talking about, who the fuck knows. It changes everyday, and then you repeat something he told you before, he denies it; even when a group of people agree that he did say it. He loves to use the ol' "that's not what i meant to say" [even though he says it the same way, for the whole day] and "You all must have heard me wrong" [he loves this one especially]. but the best part of th whole 'Warp Engine' Story is that this all took place in... the '70s! Yep, it was an old issue of Pop Mech.
lol... and when he was talking about Marilyn Manson, The Rocky Horror Picture Show came up!
as for him being a greasemonkey -- well i'd never allow him to touch my car, even though i don't know shit about shit when it comes to cars. I'd be afraid that he'll put one of those nifty, 1970's Warp Engines in it, and my Queer ass will get a ticket. :p
Lol... yea i had some major errors, i usually let them go, but i didn't this time.
Kramer! lol.. just call him Cosmo!
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