Utopian or Distopian... Hell, we're both crazy!

Me and my little sister are two peas in a pod, except for our views of reality. Even though we are both not grounded, we flew on opposite ends on this one. As you might have guessed, she has the privilege of having the Utopian view, leaving me with the less then desirable Distopian.

Her world is all rainbows and sunshine; mine is dark brooding skies, with softball size hail hitting me in the head.

We (err... at least i) know this isn't reality, just the way we look at the events before us. i'm trying to ground myself in to some sort of reality, but i'm finding it difficult to let go of my un-sunny disposition to things.

Take for example: getting hit on.

My little sister recognizes it, even if it isn't there. She is hot shit, in her mind; a total flirt.

I, on the other hand, can't see a damn thing. I have to be told. My sister told me once that this girl at this Gas station was hitting on me, but i didn't see it. I seen someone striking up friendly conversation.

Another Example: Dating.

My sister thinks everything is a date. You go out and eat with someone; your a couple. This is a recent discovery i made about her. My cousin, when to eat out with a group of co-workers; somehow she ended up putting my cousin and the only other single (mind you that the other people there didn't have their partners with them) guy were dating. I guess (Single Guy + Single Girl + Food + Co-Workers) = Date.

I have a different view. Mine has to be stated as a date, verbally or written. So my view is more like this: (Single guy/girl + single guy/girl + food + Candle light + stars + .... + another cliché you can think of) != Date. (BTW != means not equal to, but you probably already knew that).

Saving the best Example for last: Self Image.

Like I said she thinks, she is hot shit; she very well may be. I'm sorta stunned sometimes by her; the way she is handled by her boyfriends. Every last one of them have bought her shit. Her current one, and by far the greatest guy ever! (only straight guy that i've told and still respect), has bought her plenty of things. And it's like she expects it, sorta. Just in the last few months he has bought her a Car (really), and Ring (She won't tell me the price, but it's up there). And there is the little stuff, like she wanted a big ass aquarium, got it...

But i on the other hand... well lets not go there, it's even too depressing for me... lets just say that 'i wouldn’t piss on fire, to put you out' sums it up. and as for the gifts, what surprised me is that she accepts them; I don't thing i would. and when i analyze that, i come up with one conclusion. I don't want you to spend money one me that you can use to make yourself happy, since i can't make you happy... Unless your my parents, then it's gun-ho!

And i think that is what our difference boils down to; she is confident in her ability to love/care/etc, i am not. I know that it's is there, but the ability to express it isn't the easiest thing for me to do.

Where am i going with this? Nowhere, just kinda emptying out what was in my head all evening.

And no, I'm not crazy, this topic came up and i applied it to me and my sister... well maybe a little crazy :-p