The Other Side Of Me

This Blog is a documentation, a day-to-day account of my coming out process. This is here so people can read, and see where i've made mistakes and where i've made progress, so that during their coming out they can attempt to avoid or emulate those things. It is also here, to show the struggle me and many others have faced, when coming to terms with our sexuality.

4/26/2005

Loony Bin, HERE I COME! Save me a seat Blossom!

I've gone fucking insane.

The last 48 hours have been... uhhh.. interesting. I've been worrying over little things... the latest is what spawned this post. I was wondering, "What does my cheek taste like?"

Really, that is funny. I hate to admit it, but i went to see if my tongue could reach... it didn't. I'm so stupid, but it happens when you haven't been to sleep... well i've been to sleep, but it wasn't a good'en. I kept waking up every 15 minutes, then it took me like 30 to go back to sleep.

What is really funny, i'm over here worried about what my cheek taste like, but i'm going to go into a old ass house that hasn't been lived in for years and try to clean... when i know it's dusty like a son of a bitch! Hehehe, my sister was sniffling this morning too.

But if i don't watch out, this is what my life might become:

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I'm such a nervous fucking wreak. I was going to do homework, but that hasn't happened yet. I'm probably going to skip out of the first class and do some of it there, but i can't focus on anything else. Eh, if this isn't making sense, read my last post entitled "Smokey Sez".

OHHH! i'm so mad at myself for not kissing him back, eh! That is the thing that is bothering me the most. I keep wondering if he thinks that i didn't like it... EH, why did he have to be so damn nice and cute! He works at a bar, why couldn't he be a raging alcoholic that likes to hit people right after he insults their mothers!

6 Comments:

Blogger Brian Smith said...

I'm going to have to check that out...

I guess i can take a blank CD to school, but i'll DL the 9mb one now.

4/26/2005 6:01 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think it's 9MB, but I had to change it because iPodder (which a lot of people use) was not downloading everything (it's retarded...the XML confuses it i think).

I'll have another one up later tonight/tomorrow morning, it's kind of a daily thing...

4/26/2005 6:56 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hullo, just dropping by to see how ya were. Boy, you sound a mess, alibeit a happy worry wart! Here is my advice...You need to sit down, lotus position, and meditate. Now, don't laugh, it will do ya good. Take 20 min breathing q.d. and call the Love Dr. in the morning (lol).

4/26/2005 7:34 PM  
Blogger Brian Smith said...

HEHEHE.

LOL... They have so many of those bastards [popes].

Maybe he super sized it... lmao.

GOD that was good! I need DSL or Something!

I need a new laptop so i can do something like that during my hour drive to tulsa and the hour drive back.
---

I am a mess, i'm just too nervious. I've been sitting in the dark for awhile, i always like the lack of stimulius since i got over my fear of the dark. But i called him yesterday, more on that to come...

4/26/2005 11:55 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Apparently the most popular part (according to all the e-mail I got) was when I drank the sour lemon juice...that shit was tangy as hell!

BTW Toots, don't I sound gay as hell?! HAHA

4/27/2005 12:34 AM  
Blogger Brian Smith said...

Lol, yea gay as hell! I love it.

I love the "...So If you're hanidcap or retarted you can go away." (i've only got like 6 mins of it so far though) lol.

4/27/2005 12:59 AM  

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