Next Step? or Another Lie?

I'm thinking of seeing if my uncle would be ok with me being gay. I'm thinking of doing it in a sneaky way. I'll create a new email address on yahoo and tell him that I’m a friend of myself, and lead into asking if he thinks that I’m gay or whatever.. Maybe I can say something like, "He’s been depressed, and I don't know what’s wrong. I think he might be gay or something." and ask him what he thinks. Maybe not that shitty but something along those lines. I can even say that the only way I knew about him (my uncle) was that we were discussing about nicknames, and I told him/her (I haven't decided, probably a her thought) that my family has two people that use there middle names as nicknames and I told her his name. And if he gets pissed, I’m just sad that my.. ummm.. ummmm.. My... damn it, I’ll have to work that detail out.

Damn, that sounded like a good idea, when I wrote it. But reading it I have a serious problem with it. Its totaly deceitful, I’m trying to steer away from the lies and deception. Even though it may allow me to be more honest in my life in a small degree, it is still wrong. Also, what if he believes "her", and takes it as truth without asking me? Would he tell my parents or anyone else I know? Would he do a search like I did and find out the truth? I'm not hidden very well with Metacrawler and CoperNic, if you search for the right things.

GOD! I’m desperate to get out of this closet; just look at the plan (part of plan anyways) that my mind had created. Maybe I could just email him, as myself, and tell him; with a plea that he not tell anyone as a postscript. Well what ever I do, which I hope never is the first plan; it won't be today or even tomorrow. I'll have to sleep and think on this one, it would be a huge step; I need to think long and hard to determine if I’m truly ready. My body tells that I am ready, but I don't think my mind has totally grasped the concept of being out. Well whatever I do, I’ll keep you informed (Bored).