Denial is not a river in Egypt.

All day today I keep having to remind myself that I did come out to my little sister’s boyfriend; I would find myself, during class, thinking that maybe I didn’t, maybe I just dreamt that up. Maybe I was just hoping that I did dream it, it was a bigger deal then I first realized. But I did do it, and looking now I’m still glad that I did.

I didn’t see him today, I could of though; I got out of school a little early. I just hope he’s not angry or hates me. I hope that he realizes that I was gay all the time he knew me, that I’m still the same person, just now he knows a little more about me. Hmmm… I wonder who I will tell next; it’s either going to be my sisters’ female friend or my sisters’ gay male friend. It’s most likely going to be the female, I don’t think I’m ready to come out to another gay male that lives in my area; I guess that I’m afraid that his reaction is going to be bad, that he might not like me because I’m still in the closet.

So that was my day, kept having to remind myself of what I did, and worry that he might be taking it badly.

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I was going to make another post, but I will just add it right here….

Another thing that has been going through my head was something that Ethan Smith, put in my head; “How many people do read my blog?” That had been driving me nuts all during ethics, I was wondering how many people read and not comment. Then that turned to “how did they find me?” then that turned to “What do they think of my shitty writing?”

So I’m begging of you, comment just once, and ease my mind, even if its Anonymous and you just put a “!” as the comment. Tell me, if possible, where you found this site, and tell me any suggestions you may have. Praises are welcome too ;)

I’m just curious.

Also if you can, tell me of any sites that link to mine, I would like to know that too.

[EDIT 12:10am]
Holy shit... he might of took it badly; or maybe i'm reading too much into it. But he is usually at my older sister's house, since he sleeps there now, at this time of night. And he's not there, also my sister isn't home. So i'm guessing that something happened, and she is sleeping there and he's gone. Maybe i should wait till morning, its sounding a lot like a bad sitcom; Watch... i'll convince myself that something is going on, and it will embarrass me in the end when there is a good explanation (at least i hope so).