It comes down to this...
Ok, i'm heading into Tulsa in a couple mins, i'm going to try to defeat my people phobia. I'm going to attempt to finally enter a gay club, i highly doubt i can, but i've supprised myself with what i have done with face to face with an obstacle.
Right now, i'm going to watch a movie at the theather at 71st street, then i'm going to head over to the club,(the play-mor) all the way over on 21st street, and attempt to force myself into it. But even if i don't go in, i'll keep putting myself in that position until i do.
I hate being this nervous.
and just posting that i'm going to attempt to, increases the chance that i will go through with it.
posted by Brian Smith @ 4:51 PM
1 Comments:
Still haven’t begun reading it, but I remember that I’ve read a couple things in the past on their website, and totally forgot to go back; but a couple days ago they had the print version at school and then I went back to their site. And Thursday I went to borders and ran into their archive there. But tomorrow I might start on it.
Gay clubs… see my next post (which should be up in a few).
As for feeling untalented and shit, I think that has to do with school. Because I use to be bad ass; the majority of the class had to catch up with me, and now I’m trying to catch up with them. It’s horrible. As for reject… I am a reject, hell, I’d reject me too; but I know that’s from my lack of social skills.
Ok, the case is not custom, the parts are. The case is an X-Dreamer, I had to get the case pre-windowed, because I fucked up my last case when I tried to install one [I cut the hole a little too small, and the molding a little too short. The window would just pop out.] but all the lights and shit are all me… and nope it isn’t water cooled, I was going to be, but I wanted to also buy some other shit with my scholarship money, and water cooled wasn’t in the budget. It’s a piece of shit now; 4 years and 2 cases later, it’s wanting to die. I need to get another case, the temp-mon. just went out one this one. And another no for overclocked, it’s actually underclocked [I reset my Mobo settings and haven’t set them back]
I’d like to tell them, but I’m not wanting to push my luck. I think I’m going to go back to my old plan, but with a little extra parameters. Here is how it goes, they will find out: 1 year after school is over [one year, hopefully I’ll be independent], I acquire a serious boyfriend, They ask, They find out, if they piss me off to the point that I’m a bitch [not regular bitch, but evil, nasty, bitch (which has only emerged once before)], and if it slips [from either me or anyone I’ve told].
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