One step for man, one giant leap for this queer

I just failed my Calculus III class... By only 5 pts! If every problem was worth the same amount of points, I would of passed. No! He had to make the last problems worth 12 pts, but I can't be mad; that’s what I made. I’m going to try to take Calculus III next summer. But I really didn't care, which weirded me out. I don't know what it was; I guess that I thought I’ve made enough progress this semester. But that leads me to the major part of this entry.

I finally came out to my sisters, both at the same time. I was mopeing around, and they asked me what was wrong. I told them that I couldn’t tell them, which I couldn’t, and they kept guessing until I didn't answer back. There were a lot of guesses before they hit it on the head; it made me feel bad that they thought that I would do some of the things they guessed. I don't remember them all or what order they were in, but some of the things they guessed were that I cheated on a test, stole something, beat someone up, and other various things. Finally they said, "your gay!", and I kind of paused and said yes. They thought I was telling a lie, and didn't believe me for a while. That is until I showed them my web site, unedited. They read, I think, only the first week; but that was enough for me. Then I got drunk off my ass, that was the first time I got drunk (they where reading my blog and i though "Hay! what not get drunk, so if they yell and shit at you, you don't have to remember it". Plus i always wondered what it felt like.), and it was interesting; not totally enjoyable, just different. (lol.. I just remember that I thought my head was growing, it felt like it) but they were understanding, they joked around about it, saying that they were glad I was gay; that it was cool or something. But the weirdest part of this whole experience was that I felt noting; no joy, no fear, no nothing, just hallow. All I did was sat there as they talked and shook and cried a little (just tears no real crying). It feels like it didn't even happen, that I’m going to wake up at any moment. I asked them to not tell our parents, they said they wouldn’t and how they couldn’t believe that I kept it a secret that long; but I’m kind of worried that they might let it slip.

@Koge
Hay you said not to tell them in the car, I took your advice. I told them, and then got into a car with my little sister. She still scares me when she drives.



Never be satisfied with what you achieve, because it all pales in comparison with what you are capable of doing in the future.
~ Rabbi Nochem Kaplan