Mononucleosis - The Greatest Diet Aid EVER?
Christy Alley, Kiss my ass!
Jenny Craig, Suck My Dick!
Tony Little, Rim Me!
Oprah, Give me a car!
Ant, Take me home!
and Richard Simmons...
Oh, honey, your gay and for 'hiding' it i should slap you, because you do the most gawd awful job of it. If you're going to do something [lie], at least try.
All these bitches can bow down! I've found probably the most affective diet ever! MONO!
Guess what i caught?! If you didn't guess MONO, i'm ashamed of you! Yep, MONO! I thought it was a horrible case of a sinus infection. So i went to see a nurse... Ok, well not that i went to see one, i was there and you know how i hang around a bunch of faggots all day there was bound to be one! I gave him a run down of my problems, and he said he thinks either Sinus Infection or Strep; He looked down my throat and said most likely strep, but he gave me a couple antibiotics until i could see the doctor; since it was later in the evening on the 3rd, and my family doctor was out on the 4th, so it would have to be the 5th until i could see him.
Well on the 5th i did go in. He though it was either Mono or Strep. So i had to take 2 tests; Guess which one came back pos? I'm going to kill you if you said Strep. MONO!
Ok, here is what was going on. My Throat Swelled shut, which gave me the first hint that something was fucked. I couldn't Eat anything nor could i drink something without choking when stopping. I also had problems breathing too! So the two days i had to wait, i had no food and very little to drink. Also the glands under my jaw were swollen, i had horrible headaches, and the kicker... i was fucking tired all the damn time!
So he gave me steroids to get rid of the swelling; so i'm currently on the 'roids. But without them, i wouldn't have been able to eat... Yes! Fuck Dial-a-meal! My 'Food Asphyxiation' plan is the real deal. He even said that if i couldn't eat anything by today to call him, and they'll do an IV drip on my ass. Think about it. A plan that will fit your schedule; IV packing on too many pounds? Pull it out. All you have to do is keep you immune system down long enough to contract it, which i hear it is all around us all the time. And the best part; the whole thing about it being the kissing disease, not 100% true! You won't have to find a hoe or a gigolo to contract it, but if you want to hurry it along make sure you get a lot of mucus and saliva from them!
The best we can figure out, is that i've had it for about 3 weeks, since my throat would swell a bit and then go back down, but only this time it was so bad i couldn't eat or drink.
So what do i have to do to get rid of it? My Fav! Lay around the house and do absolutely nothing! They say, don't exert yourself, get plenty of rest, and drink lots of fluids... I can live with that. MONO Rocks!
I'm tried... Guess why!
If you didn't say Mono, the first exertion i'll perform, when i'm better, is kicking your ass.
Mononucleosis
posted by Brian Smith @ 3:05 AM
4 Comments:
See shithead, now you know how I feel with this Epstein-barr shit all the damn time...it's the tiredness you get from Mono. Now ya know why I'm damn lazy and tired... Sucks doesn't it!?
HAHA! Bitch got the monos!! HAHA! Whore...
While waiting for the doctor i almost fell asleep a couple times. I even laid down on the lil bed like thing they had in the lil room they put me in.
I have a question. In that room there was the normal shit like tongue depressors, cotton balls, gauze, and such then there was a can of Aqua Net Max Hold; WTF was that doing there?
I really didn't notice the being tired part, because when i'm sick i sleep all the time. But i noticed it when it was time to go to the doc's. I had plenty of rest, i just couldn't get myself up. I fell asleep in the bath tub, and didn't want to get up. I slept in the car on the way to the doctor and then to home and when i got home slept, then posted this post then went back to sleep.
It does suck, especially when i got a new game i want to play, and i would like to get out of the house, i'm just to tired to.
But knowing gay people rocked; the nurse guy said [since i just got dropped from my parents insurance] to tell him my Rx and he'd see if he could get it in those sample boxes. He even gave me those antibiotics; i told my doc that i was took two of them, and he told me that he didn't like that antibiotic [Levaquin] because it was very strong. So i get the good shit. But the 'roids was only like $7; so i went ahead and got them at the pharmacy.
Perhaps they use aqua net to make gause stick? You know, kinda like a temp. fast cast... (You can use aqua net for just about anything; hell I've re-attached wallpaper with that shit!) Maybe the nurse just wanted to touch-up her weave...
Maybe... but i thought that it was weird. They had all this medical shit, and in the middle of it was a huge can of Aqua Net.
Maybe someone did do their fro, 'cause it was next to the mirror they had in there.
Post a Comment
Subscribe to Post Comments [Atom]
<< Home