Call the law offices of Jeff Martin! He knows what to do!

WTF!? William Shatner! Why? How? Why is Captain Kirk doing a commercial for a TV Lawyer? Who thought that this was a good idea? The non-existent respect i had for William Shatner was... well... uhhh... proven non-existent. Don't worry Shat, if he paid me i would do it too.

Jeff Martin! He knows what to do! He got me this Check!

Really, i hate those commercials; i see them and i want to slap those people [the people that 'called' him and got the check]. I don't care if they are actors; don't call that fucker! Call a real lawyer! Not one that has a commercial. Because i don't want to see those damn commercials! Stop calling, then he won't have the cash to buy up quality commercial time!

I want a commercial. Yea, i think it would be cool. Mine would just be me sitting in a chair, then saying, "at least it isn't one of those Jeff Martin Commercials, Westside!" I'd have the best commercial ever, and sell nothing! Hell, it wouldn't be a commercial then, it would be a public service announcement. I'd probably win an award for it or something. People would be clamoring for another commercial, errr.. PSO. So i would have Marilyn Manson on my next one, and we'd be like "Jeff Martin Eats Babies and Worships Satan, Mr. Manson has the pictures." Which would catapult me in to the commercial stratosphere! And since Trilogies are big, i'd have to do another. It would be me, in a grungy building, huddled in the fetal position in the corner, all while it's raining and lighting. The camera gets closer, while i state hysterically, "Jeff Martin raped me." then i laugh out "and he has a small dick, Mr. Manson has the pictures."

I'm board, duh.

Anyway, if you don't know who Jeff Martin is, he's one of those Personal Injury Attorney that has a ton of commercials on TV. Recently he had William Shatner on one such commercial. I hate local commercials, they all suck, the national ones are not prizes sometimes either. That Six Flag's Cross dressing Dancer SUCKS ASS! I hate that bitch! She dresses like an old man and dances; i probably could make a better commercial with my nut sack, a tube of toothpaste, and a lemon; Hell i probably could make the same commerical with that. I hate commercials; i need Tivo... or stop watching the boob tube. ‘bout the only good thing on TV is on Court TV.. I love Nancy Grace! She don’t take shit from no one! And Henry Lee Kicks Ass! I think Nancy Grace and Henry Lee should have a Baby; It’s legal insight and forensic knowledge would make it unstoppable.